The Well-Behaved Woman

By Mitchell Hadley

One of the more popular, and dumber, bumper stickers you see nowadays says, "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History."

Now, I suppose it's hard to argue with this; after all, look at the evidence. Lucrezia Borgia was a poisoner, or so legend tells us. She wasn’t very well behaved, and she made history. Eva Perón was a string-pulling despot – she wasn’t very well behaved either, and she had a musical written about her.*

*Come to think of it, so did Lucrezia – the eponymous opera by Donizetti, which was much better than Evita. But that's a subject for some future Opera Wednesday.

Queen Mary was so famous they named a drink after her – the Bloody Mary – which suggests she wasn't exactly a Miss Manners. Lizzie Borden, Imelda Marcos, Jiang Qing – all of them famous enough to enter popular culture, none of them what you would call paragons of model behavior. And we haven't even mentioned Madonna or Britney.

Are we sure these are the role models we want for young women?

I submit that the greatest trait of women (and men, for that matter) who make history has nothing to do with how well-behaved they are, but that they're countercultural. Mother Theresa, Florence Nightengale, Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir, Saint Therese; these were women willing to fight for something they believed in, women who had faith in themselves but also had faith in something greater than themselves, women who reached high but did so with humility. Counterculturalism means breaking the mold, rather than breaking rules. These women, and many like them, didn't rebel against culture: they transcended it. And in doing so, they changed the world around them.

In my opinion, it's no mistake that the people who sport these purple bumper stickers have chosen to focus on behavior rather than the transcendence that comes from counterculturalism. To start with, let's be honest: if you're talking about people not being "well-behaved," then that must mean they've "misbehaved." And if you look at the women (and men, for that matter) who have changed the world for the better, you see something profoundly different from “misbehavior.”

Misbehavior isn’t an adult trait. It’s a sign of immaturity, something adolescents do. A temper tantrum is misbehavior. Talking back to your parents is misbehavior, and you'd usually get sent to your room without dinner for it. Chewing gum in school used to be misbehavior, although I suppose that's pretty tame today. The time-worn response to misbehavior used to be to tell someone to "grow up." However, since Americans today seem to have entered into a perpetual adolescence, I guess we can’t be surprised that misbehavior no longer carries the stigma it used to.

But the idea that "well-behaved women seldom make history" is a perfect catchphrase for this generation. It's short and catchy, and it's totally devoid of any logic whatsoever. It's the kind of phrase that people can feel good about. They can't explain it to you, but it makes them feel good, and in the end isn't that what's important? If there's one thing Oprah's taught us, it's that feelings are everything. And if you have this bumper sticker on the back of your car, or perhaps on the door to your office, I have no doubt that you feel good about it.

These people want to avoid the true rammifications that result from being countercultural. It doesn't simply mean being a contrarian, and it's not as easy as SpongeBob celebrating "Opposite Day." It often calls for deep and profound self-examination, and results in a commitment that not only transcends culture, but becomes a life-altering experience. It may mean you give up your friends, your harmless vices, everything that you enjoy and that you think is important to you. It calls for sacrifice and self-discipline, which we know are hardly the traits of one who misbehaves. It's not easy, and many times it doesn't "feel good," and worst of all others might not be able to see you doing it, so that you won't get credit for it. That's why you won't hear these people talk about it - not when it's easier to simply, well, misbehave and call attention to yourself. Sacrifice is so, you know, grown up.

Perhaps some day these people will get it, but I doubt it - they're too busy feeling good about themselves. In the meantime, the well-behaved women - the women who seek to transcend the culture - well, they probably don't have time to think much about it. They're too busy changing the world.

Is Perfection Perfect?

By Kristin

A fantastic bit of programming on MN Public Radio are the broadcasts of live opera performances aired on Sunday afternoons. Unfortunately, it is not often that I find myself in a place listening to the radio on a Sunday afternoon. This past Sunday, however, I found myself driving down Highway 55 listening to a beautiful opera. Which opera was it? I do not know. Who was the singer? I can not remember. Composer? Not a clue. What I do remember occurred about ten minutes into my drive; the sound of a cough echoing over the quiet song. I smiled. Not because it was funny, but because I could picture in my head a middle aged man sitting about 10 rows back, trying to hold in a cough and in a moment of weakens, allowing the disturbance to fly out. Why was I so taken by this imperfection in the recording? It has taken a few days, but I believe I have come to a semi-satisfactory explanation. I believe it was in the imperfection that I found a deep connection listening to the music, not in the perfect pitch of the singers.

This realization brought back a similar memory from my childhood. In seventh grade a friend copied for me a recording of the musical Les Miserables. As an adult, I remember one bit of the recording so vividly, as if I am listening to it now. The tape was made from a CD of a live performance of the original cast. During one of the songs sung by the young Cosette, there is a loud crash, as if a large 2x4 fell from the rafters onto the stage. The young singer wavered, but only for a moment then continued singing. Moments later, a member of the audience coughs a few times and is silenced by what I can only assume would be a cough drop. After nearly 13 years, these mistakes are the sounds I remember most clearly.

What is it about these mishaps that creates the lasting memories? For that split second when the error occurs, I felt the recording had new life. It was not a radio station number, or a bit of plastic tape but a three dimensional being with. In music, we all strive towards perfection. Few of us ever reach virtuoso status. But when we hear something slightly off, I feel that it makes the performance more human, establishes a bond between the music and the listener, more accurately reflecting life with all its imperfections. These disturbances in the musical world are what I will now be looking for a little more closely. Not to point out errors and assert my own superiority, but to find the human element in the live performance.

In closing I challance you to listen for the sneeze, watch for the wrong bowing and find the perfection in the imperfect.

Once Again, Truth Stranger Than Fiction

By Drew

You know, we really can't make this stuff up: (H/T Jonah Goldberg at NRO)

Man's Plot to Kill Girlfriend Ends With His Death

A California man who tried to kill his girlfriend by leaving her in a car parked across railway lines was himself killed when an oncoming train hurled the car into him as he fled.

His girlfriend survived, the Associated Press reported.

The man drove the car to the head of a line of traffic stopped at a level crossing in the San Fernando Valley neighborhood of Sunland on Monday, police spokesman Mike Lopez said.

The man, who was seen arguing with the woman, then parked the car on the tracks and jumped out, leaving her behind, Mr Lopez said.

A 450-ton commuter train hit the rear of the car, launching it into the man.

The girlfriend, who was injured , was taken to hospital in a stable condition.

Nothing more need be said. Except, be careful.